Whew. Now that that's out of the way, Dolphins are Dicks is an "organization" of real people that are definitely not sharks, dedicated to providing you information on why the world's most lovable sea creature is actually the world's biggest douchebag. Our passion for spreading the truth about dolphins is mostly fueled by alcohol and a basic understanding of marine biology, but also stems from a deep, undying hatred of Lisa Frank.
But, you may ask, aren't you afraid that dolphins will hunt you down and stop you from spreading the truth? And honestly, that has occurred to us. Thankfully dolphins are too busy raping and pillaging to be bothered. Also we have calculated the distance a dolphin can travel and murder before running out of oxygen and we live about 500 yards beyond that line (just in case there's a Rambo-type among them). We also hike. Never beach. You can never be too safe.
While we might think dolphins are THE WORST, we do love the ocean and most of its fair critters. We've always had a soft spot for Ariel, even if she is likely the byproduct of dolphin sex. Given that, 10% of any proceeds we make will go to real ocean conservation efforts and we've provided a page that lists out good organizations worthy of money that doesn't just come from some idiot's site about dickbag dolphins. After all, the ocean deserves saving. It gives us lobster and you don't fuck with something that gives you lobster.
We feel that its important to note, for people who don't understand humor, the we understand that dolphins are an important part of the ecosystem and if nothing else, they are very tasty when masked as tuna. Dolphins are Dicks does not support killing or otherwise harming dolphins. Remember, when they go low, we go high. And once again, we are not actually a non-profit.
But seriously, wtf?
Why are they such dicks?
